this place

I’m back in the place,

I was years ago.

It feels so different,

Yet I’ve nothing to show,

For the time that has passed.

I thought things would last.

The fight was so long,

But I lost it so fast.

I thought I was headed,

In a different direction.

Turns out I’m stagnant,

Stuck in a reflection.

So much has happened,

Yet nothing has changed.

What started has ended,

Nothing was gained.

So full of passion,

I poured it all out.

Now it is gone.

I’m left with my doubt,

That life will turn around.

That life will ever be,

What I had hoped,

What I had dreamed.

All of these years,

Were so full of tears,

So full of prayers,

So full of fears. 

When will the loss,

Turn into gain?

When will the joy,

Come out of the pain?

I set out to fix,

I thought I could mend,

Things now more broken,

Then they’ve ever been.

My efforts so fruitless,

The time, it fell useless.

Dismay is conducive,

To this place that is ruthless.

You say nothing’s lost,

You say nothing’s wasted.

Maybe someday I’ll see it,

Someday I’ll taste it.

This fruit that eludes me,

Where is it growing?

You say it’s about trusting,

And less about knowing.

Take hold of my heart,

It’s broken and jaded.

Mend it with hope,

Mend it with patience.

I don’t like this place,

But I know I must face it.

Lord give me the grace,

The grace to embrace it.