acceptance

I want to be free,

But I cannot surrender.

I’m a slave to the moments,

The things I remember.

I want to feel peace,

But what I don’t want to be,

Is happy or satisfied,

I’m just too angry.

Numb for so long,

I couldn’t feel anything.

Finally I hurt,

Finally I bleed.

Perhaps I am free,

Perhaps this new me,

Is free to now feel,

The things that I need.

Perhaps the surrender,

Is to let go of pleasure.

Perhaps it’s acceptance,

That there is no more pressure.

Perhaps to be free,

Is to let go of “should”.

To know that my feelings,

Needn’t always be “good”.

Maybe the surrender,

And the freedom I seek,

Is in the acceptance,

Of the ability to grieve.